After a few days of thinking, I realized my mistakes. It was very difficult to sit down and really look into why I didn't succeed. First the matches. Ken got greedy. The other big thing was, me not starting the 1st set of grand finals after talking about being the one to start for so long. I realized how much of an assassin Kobe Bryant is watching him play in the playoffs. All he wants to do is stick to you and end your life, and I didn't do it. After getting that out of the way, it was a lot easier to think about what happened.
First off, the biggest mistake I made was treating this hobby of mine as something more than just a hobby. I let it consume me, and consume my life. Kind of like how you dated a girl and you revolved your life around her and then she broke you heart. I love the game, but I have to live my life first before it, just as if I dated a girl, I can't always do everything she wants. Of course, if we had won, none of this would be necessary but because things don't always work out you always have to be more careful. My teammates want to try to go to Japan and play in the last chance, and I asked myself, why the hell not? I mean, nothing really ever comes easy in my life, I've always had to overcome obstacles and why not make this another one. We'll just have to go to Arizona, win that tourney, have Ken maybe win SF4 and grab $2000 for that. Do well at EVO, and then we should have enough to go, besides tickets are cheap this year, half of what we paid for last year, so it's pretty much like winning half the tickets from last year.
Anyways, I'm not sure about what I will do, but I will go with my life and see if an oppurtunity presents itself for me to go to Japan. Can't go out like that.
I've applied to about 20 jobs so far, no responses hahaha. Hoping those government jobs come through and I can start my career. But I'm also working hard on revising my resume and doing a better job of trying to sell myself to the suitors.
Til next time.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Chapter 2
So a new chapter in my life begins now. I've been playing 3rd Strike for 7 years, on and off, dedicated or half assed, but right now, could be the end of the road. Its hard to let go of your passion, the thing you love to do. I've practiced and sacrificed so much of my time and so many things in my life to be the best, but I guess I can never be the best. What hurts the most is all the hard work and time spent now gone away. I see athletes who dedicate all their time to winning a championship but never do and have to settle for an empty retirement. At this point, this is where I am at.
I lost in the biggest tournament of my life, every person thats ever been in my career was there and I still couldn't close it out. The matches don't worry, of course I still have visions of it sometimes, but we had it won and just coughed it up. Like blowing a 10 point 4th quarter lead with 2 minutes to go in Game 7 of the NBA finals. Things happen, what can you do.
This whole feeling stings cause I worked hard, I could have lost without practicing, but I practiced and gave it what I can, but it wasn't enough. Now I have to be realistic about my life and do what is best for me and my family. I have to spend the time I did playing 3rd Strike on not just finding a job but starting a career, a successful one. I know if I put the same time in that I did in 3rd Strike, I can do anything and be very successful at it, it is just hard to transition to it. It was hard today to be on the internet, where I spend so much time reading about 3rd Strike, talking to my friends about 3rd Strike and watching videos on youtube. When I was on the internet, the only thing left was checking my email every 10 minutes, reading the sports pages, facebook and internet pornography (which is a great thing). I've started this blog as my way of kind of helping myself quit smoking. Instead of wanting to look at 3rd Strike, I'll write something productive or critical about my life or myself here, kind of like chewing on some gum instead of smoking a cigarette.
Anyways, it was a tough day, I usually don't get bothered too much but everything that I did today reminded me of my losses. Watching the Lakers compete doesn't feel the same anymore because I've lost all desire to compete right now. Eventually I came to the conclusion that, at one point in my life, I told myself that I would always be strong in tough situations, although I never thought losing in a Street Fighter tournament would be one of them, and I would hold up to that.
So I will take this week to sort things out, move on and begin filling the pages to this new chapter. I hope never to quit 3rd Strike, I love the game too much, but right now, other things come first. As long as 3rd Strike stays alive, I will always play it. I am sorry that I cannot be the one to keep it alive in its dying state right now, but I have hope and optimism that those I have passed the torch on to will.
Oh and... I'm also gonna spend that extra time at the gym and push myself more than I have before in the gym.
Also my horoscope says that I would have a decision to make about something that is very important to me. Obviously this is my decision to go to Japan or not. It says to take my time and ask someone for advice. And that someone I don't expect will pop into my life and give me advice. One of my best friends texted me and told me he was in town from Baltimore, I haven't seen or had a real conversation with him for over 2 years now and he is someone I have trusted and given me a lot of direction in my life.
I lost in the biggest tournament of my life, every person thats ever been in my career was there and I still couldn't close it out. The matches don't worry, of course I still have visions of it sometimes, but we had it won and just coughed it up. Like blowing a 10 point 4th quarter lead with 2 minutes to go in Game 7 of the NBA finals. Things happen, what can you do.
This whole feeling stings cause I worked hard, I could have lost without practicing, but I practiced and gave it what I can, but it wasn't enough. Now I have to be realistic about my life and do what is best for me and my family. I have to spend the time I did playing 3rd Strike on not just finding a job but starting a career, a successful one. I know if I put the same time in that I did in 3rd Strike, I can do anything and be very successful at it, it is just hard to transition to it. It was hard today to be on the internet, where I spend so much time reading about 3rd Strike, talking to my friends about 3rd Strike and watching videos on youtube. When I was on the internet, the only thing left was checking my email every 10 minutes, reading the sports pages, facebook and internet pornography (which is a great thing). I've started this blog as my way of kind of helping myself quit smoking. Instead of wanting to look at 3rd Strike, I'll write something productive or critical about my life or myself here, kind of like chewing on some gum instead of smoking a cigarette.
Anyways, it was a tough day, I usually don't get bothered too much but everything that I did today reminded me of my losses. Watching the Lakers compete doesn't feel the same anymore because I've lost all desire to compete right now. Eventually I came to the conclusion that, at one point in my life, I told myself that I would always be strong in tough situations, although I never thought losing in a Street Fighter tournament would be one of them, and I would hold up to that.
So I will take this week to sort things out, move on and begin filling the pages to this new chapter. I hope never to quit 3rd Strike, I love the game too much, but right now, other things come first. As long as 3rd Strike stays alive, I will always play it. I am sorry that I cannot be the one to keep it alive in its dying state right now, but I have hope and optimism that those I have passed the torch on to will.
Oh and... I'm also gonna spend that extra time at the gym and push myself more than I have before in the gym.
Also my horoscope says that I would have a decision to make about something that is very important to me. Obviously this is my decision to go to Japan or not. It says to take my time and ask someone for advice. And that someone I don't expect will pop into my life and give me advice. One of my best friends texted me and told me he was in town from Baltimore, I haven't seen or had a real conversation with him for over 2 years now and he is someone I have trusted and given me a lot of direction in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)